An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
