we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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