i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So much Jack, so little girl.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
