Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
