ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
