just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
