apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
