She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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