Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
