What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
