jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
