Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
