YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We have so much sex to catch up on
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
