Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Randomize
