Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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