what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He felt like a one man threesome
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
this hospital has no fireball
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
