he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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