I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Shame is for Republicans.
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