I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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