If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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