sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
this beer tastes like vomit already
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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