I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
