I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
bring money and cleavage
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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