I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
