I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
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