we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
