'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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