My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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