so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
