I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
