haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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