matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
