If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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