i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
