That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
