Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
third nipple confirmed
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
