this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
