Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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