i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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