Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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