we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
