I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
where are you?
Hypothermia
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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