thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
