oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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