Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
