Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Soap is not a condiment
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
