Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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