after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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