I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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