VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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