i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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