He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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