He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
